Inside the Secret World Of Cross-border 'Kinder Surprise Egg' smuggling

This Monday, CBC ran a news story about about a Winnipeg woman who was caught trying to enter the United States of America with a Kinder Egg in her vehicle.  Apparently Kinder Eggs are illegal contraband in the United States and anyone caught trying to bring one into the country is subject to a $300.00 fine.  This woman was let off of the fine but the saga continued when she received a formal seven page letter from the United States government requesting that she authorize the destruction of the seized Kinder Egg.  Furthermore, if she wanted to contest its' destruction, there would a $250.00 storage fee for the egg. 

Apparently the United States' Custom officials take the war on Kinder Egg smuggling very seriously!  The article went on to state that in the past year, border officials have seized up to 25,000 Kinder Eggs from 2,000 different vehicles.  This means that the average take is 12.5 Kinder Eggs per vehicle.  Those numbers definitely point to a sophisticated smuggling operation and I'm sure they're making a dent in it.

What is of real concern to me is how many of these sinister little Kinder Surprises have slipped through the ever so vigilant eye of U.S. Immigration and are now making their way through the black market to private collectors everywhere.  These officials are thoroughly trained at spotting people smuggling people, drugs, bombs and Kinder Eggs.  It's easy to spot a Kinder Egg.  It is always the same egg shaped item wrapped in tin foil with the words 'Kinder Egg' proudly displayed on the front.  Inside the foil you will find a chocolate egg with a 'milky white centre'.  Crack the hollow shell and you will find an orange or yellow plastic capsule and inside the capsule you will find a really cool miniature toy with IKEA like assembly instructions.

It is the Kinder Egg Surprise toy that is at the centre of the U.S. ban and the subsequent smuggling rings.  This toy is considered to be a choking hazard to children.  So, if we skip a few steps and head straight to the bottom line, we should be able to therefore assume that Kinder Egg smugglers are just grandmotherly type Canadian 'child chokers' and must be weeded out at all costs. 

I had the opportunity to test the Kinder Egg Border Security efficiency last summer on my annual cross border camping weekend.  I took the old van, my son and about thirty Kinder Egg Surprises over the border in plain view.  In my defense, I hadn't heard about the $300 fine per Surpise at this point. 

I rolled down my windows and answered the obligatory questions about citizenship and destination.  They checked out my son's i.d. and took caution to establish our relationship just in case I was a child smuggler.  It was as if their eyes were blinded to the illegal Kinder Egg Surprises that were in plain view, as the following picture clearly shows.

Here are the Kinder Surprises glued to my dashboard.  Homeland Security failed to detect them!







Then they wished us a great trip and waved us on.  The Surprises had been glued to my dash for a while.  I am wild over the toys, as everyone knows that it's really the adults that are purchasing them.  We give the chocolate to the kids and we snatch the toys for ourselves.  EVERY ONE'S A WINNER!  To give my rather impressive private collection the respect it deserved, I decided to display them in my vehicle where they would get the most exposure!  I also figured that they would amuse the grand kids on long drives. 

It never dawned on me that they would get hungry for the toys and eat them.  That didn't happen and I don't recall hearing of any Kinder Egg Surprise related deaths in Canada.  Then again, I never assumed that my son would shove a chick pea up his nose, requiring a trip to the emergency ward.  Somehow it never dawned on me to sue the chick pea farmer, manufacturer, grocery store, stock boy and cashier over the incident either.  Nor did I start a campaign to have them labelled or banned.

Kinder Egg, on the other hand, advises against giving the surprise to anyone under the age of three, in 17 different languages.  Still, if you are a citizen of the United States you may be allowed to keep guns in your home but if you want to keep a few Kinder Egg Surprises there, you will need to go the illegal route.  Simply google Kinder Egg smuggling and you will come across forums that provide the latest open smuggling channels.  There are small and dedicated pockets of sympathizers scattered throughout the world.

Word on the street is that the capsules are the preferred container of choice for smuggling dope into prisons.  I guess they can be easily concealed in bodily cavities.  Thankfully,  it is clear that Homeland Security isn't quite too sure what these Kinder Egg Surprises actually are yet so smugglers shouldn't have to resort this extent to conceal the Surprises just yet.

I encourage all my friends from the U.S.A. to live dangerously when visiting Canada and buy a few Kinder Eggs.  You'll see what all the fuss is about.  The acquisition of these little gadgets is addictive to the point that it is seen as a threat to the youth of America. 

Sure, our taxes are a little higher but the privilege of being able to play with our Kinder Egg Surprise collections in the open while puffing on Cuban cigars, with no fear of impunity,  seems like a small price to pay!

WE CANADIANS LOVE OUR CHOKING HAZARDS!

For more articles on the Niagara area and Canadiana, please visit the Attractions link or scroll through the blog archives.  Comments are always appreciated!

We Come In Peace





Niagara Falls New Year's Eve Party 2010/2011

HAPPY NEW YEAR FROM NIAGARA TOURIST

Once again, a great party and crowd down at Niagara Falls.  You can't ask for more----A White Christmas and a Green New Year's Eve!  That particularly applies when you have to park a few kilometres away from the action.  This year was no exception.  The early birds got the good parking.  However, the weather was fantastic and there was a lot of 'turkey and stuffing' being walked off.  The Bare Naked Ladies did a great job.  They brought in the New Year with their signature song "If I Had A Million Dollars".  They tried to time if to end right at midnight but that required repeating 'If I Had A Million Dollars' an extra ten times or so.  No one seemed to mind.  The bug elevator made its way to the top of the Skylon Tower,  setting things in motion.  Fireworks went off from the Skylon Tower. over the Falls and in Niagara Falls, New York.  The crowds went wild and couples began to make fireworks of their own!  It was a great event and time for me to get these pantyhose off and throw on some comfy pj's and dream of all the great things that 2011 has in store.

Did you attend this year's party down at the Falls?  Take the time to comment on the blog or share pictures and let me know how you enjoyed it!

Happy New Years!

'You Killed Kenny'

THINGS TO DO IN NIAGARA THAT I HAVEN'T TRIED YET

The New Year is quickly approaching and I was thinking about making some new resolutions that wouldn't be too difficult to keep.  I thought I'd apply an 'adventure' theme to it and come up with a list of things to do in Niagara that I haven't yet tried.  Being a Niagara Tour guide gives me the passion and opportunity to do a lot of exploring down by the Falls but as new attractions pop up, I have found myself getting behind.  I figure with a full year to weight the success of my resolutions, I have plenty of time to knock these off.

1. Grow my nails long enough to get a window front gig in Ripley's Believe It Or Not Museum on Clifton Hill.

Back in the 70's my sister and I had a few paper routes between us.  The most famous person on my paper route turned out to be Rob Nicholson, the Canadian Attorney General and Minister of Justice.  He was just a student then and I really didn't know him all that well.  My sister, however, delivered papers to Sandy Allen, the tallest woman in the world .  She lived in an apt. building on Simcoe Street that could accommodate her height.  At 7'7", she was quite an ominous figure at the door when we went to collect.  Then we'd see her at Ripley's Believe It Or Not Museum down on Clifton Hill.  I used to think she had a great job, standing there greeting the tourists.  I don't really know how much she enjoyed it but I hope she did. Sandy passed away in her early fifties in 2008.  She was a really nice lady!



Joining the Polar Bear Dippers and jumping into Lake Erie in January was one of last year's resolutions!
Way too much fun!!


2.  Participate in the Niagara Falls International Marathon.

The marathon starts out in Buffalo and crossing the peace bridge before heading down the Niagara Parkway to the finish line.  I'm not quite that zealous but there's a 5 kilometre 'walking option' that sounds just fine to me.  This doesn't take place until October so I have plenty of time to brush up on my walking skills.

3.  Go on the Drop Zone ride at Marineland.

I remember the first time I went on the roller coaster at Marineland.  I was TERRIFIED but I did it!  I hardly peed my pants at all!  There are a lot of things to do in Niagara that might give you the rush of going over the Falls in a barrel without actually taking that plunge.  The Drop Zone seems to be a step in the right direction.

4.  Search for Poisonous glow-in-the-dark mushrooms down in the Niagara Glen

Back in the 90's I had a part time job at the Italian Cafe on Robinson St.  For two hours every evening it was where the action was for the post 60 Italian male types in the surrounding neighbourhood.  Never a dull moment!  I remember the buzz when one of them brought in a phallic shaped red pepper.  Even more titillating was the time when Pellegrino found a bunch of glow in the dark poisonous mushrooms.  The cafe had one small washroom and every time someone arrived at the cafe, he was rushed back into the washroom to join the rest of the gang.  Soon, the washroom became as crowded as a subway in China.  No one could bear to not be present to see their compadre's reactions.  Even I allowed myself to be lured into the dark washroom with, already brimming with about 15 Italian men.  That was barely safer than eating the mushrooms, in retrospect.

5.  Jumping off the Weightman Bridge in Chippawa

I've always been scared to take part in this rite of passage for all Niagara teenagers.  It used to be one of the most popular things to do in Niagara for the teen set.  I'm probably one of the few that never did it, even once.  I did watch with envy as my youngest daughter took the plunge into the swift waters below!  I may not get around to this one as they've made it illegal, just as I finally got up my nerve. 

6.  Watch someone go over Niagara Falls in a barrel. 

Of course, this resolution will take some co-operation.  I feel good about it, though.  Interest in barrel riding over the Falls waned back in the 90's when bungee jumping became all the rage.  I feel good about this one, though.  A lot of  unaccomplished crack pots will probably be scrambling to do something 'headline' grabbing before 2012. 

If you are planning an 'adventure' visit to Niagara Falls this year and would like a qualified and entertaining Niagara Tour Guide to help you get the most of your vacation, please follow this link for more information.

Niagara Tourism In Winter: It Could Be Worse!

Being a tour guide in Niagara during the winter months lacks the sort of 'fly by the seat of your pants' frenzy that it generates in the busy months.  Winter Festival of Lights Tours and Private Tours are great fun and certainly break up the monotony of the slower Niagara tourism season.  For someone who is used to talking non-stop for months in a row, the pace can be quite an adjustment.  One day you have 40 attentive adults intent of hearing everything you have to share with them about Niagara Falls.  The next day you can't even persuade your teenager to pick up his towel off the bathroom floor.  But hey, I have no reason to complain. 

UPDATE: Niagara Ghost Walks now runs through the winter

My father often reminded us to be grateful, especially at the dinner table.  "Eat all your food", he would say.  Then he would remind us, "There are starving people over in France, you know".   I had time to reflect on that concept this week.  While researching for an article I was writing on Bukisa,  Some Of The Most Dangerous Countries To Visit,  I was struck with a sense of gratitude and appreciation for how fortunate I was to be a Niagara Tour Guide as opposed to........let's say............a Somalian tour guide.  Undoubtedly their phones aren't ringing off the hook.  The Somalian Cruise Ship industry is a hard sell as well, no doubt due to the exorbitant fees they are demanding.  ATM's are non existent so tourists are encouraged to carry plenty of cash.  I spent quite some time on google, searching for a link to a Somalian tour company or private tour guide that I could 'talk shop' with.  Finally, I concluded that it was a waste of bandwidth and I'd move it over to my 'bucket list'.

I'M A "STINKER BRINKER"...WHAT ABOUT YOU?

It's amazing how one can fool themselves into thinking that it's not winter yet just because there is no snow on the ground.  Conversely, it's just as easy to trick yourself into thinking that winter is here when actually it is still autumn.  Today I was guilty of the latter. 

Yesssiree!  From the moment that I found myself nagging my teenage son to shovel the driveway to the moment where he tried to bribe me into getting him fast food if he did it, I knew that Old Man Winter was upon us.  While waiting at the Arby's Take Out window for what seemed like forever, I began to reflect on what winter means around here and what I have to look forward to.  Then it dawned on me that the Rink At The Brink should be ready.  Last year I bought a season's pass with visions of actually learning how to skate once and for all.  Five or six years ago, I bravely put on skates for the first time since childhood.  I felt empowered and adventurous.  Those pretty white skates really made my feet look petite and elegant.  They looked surprisingly good.  Without the blade, a skate is no different than a awkwardly tight foot and ankle girdle. 

HOW TO SURVIVE NEW YEAR'S EVE IN NIAGARA FALLS



Murray Hill, Niagara Falls
New Year's Eve 2009

I have probably spent no less than 7 of the past ten New Year's Eves 'ringing it in' down by Niagara Falls.  It is the ideal 'ready made' New Year's Eve Party and apparently many others agree because Queen Victoria Park and the nearby streets are jammed with revellers. It is a family event with well known bands and fireworks going off at 9:00 a.m. and 12:00.  Although Niagara Falls sees its share of tourists during the summer months, I have never seen the area as busy as on December 31st.  Even inclement weather doesn't seem to scare off the party goers.  A crowd of this size converging into a relatively small areas has special considerations and over the years I have learned some of the tricks, tips and pitfalls of surviving New Year's Eve in Niagara Falls.

1. If you bring children, be prepared to carry them, piggyback them, or put them on your shoulders at some point in the night.  Or make sure that you have lots of goodies available to coax them into walking.
2. Your children will see other children with various types of glo-sticks and will wine and nag you to buy them one.  They are over priced and you are going to resent doing this!!  Get down to the dollar store sometime in the week before and pick up some glo-sticks for a buck a piece.  Or better yet, do what we did one year;  stock up  on glo-sticks and let the children cash in on the whole glo-stick hungry mob by using the cute factor to make a 300% profit on their own glo-sticks.

Niagara Wine Tasting For Dummies

Don't let the title 'leave a bad taste in your mouth'.  I am in no way implying that Niagara Wine Tasting is for dummies.  Rather,  that dummies  to the world of Wine Tasting (ie: me)  can intermingle with wine tasting snobs quite adequately with a few pointers.

Now this is how it's done!

As a tour guide I have been privy to a regular diet of wine tastings.  Truth told,  I still really don't get it.  So for risk of being labelled a witless wino or an imbibing imbecile, I have mastered the technique of wine snobbery.  Maybe 'mastery' is a bit of an embellishment but I'm still working on it.  Bluffing one's way through wine is an ongoing learning experience. 

Here is a short list of what I have learned from my Niagara wine tours:

1. When they say 'humour your wine' they are not suggesting that you make 'Jim Carrey' faces into your glass.
2. A bunch of guys didn't sit around a boardroom in France brainstorming snooty names for various wines.  Au contraire!  All the wines are named for the grapes they are made with.  I know, I know....I was beyond stunned too when I finally figured this out!